101.Malika Shirawat On Railway Station
arrived at a Railway Station for a shooting.
Bhikhari: Behanji 1 rupiya dedo.
Malika gave him 1000 Rs.
Secretary: Why u gave him 1000 Rs..?
Malika: Pehli bar kisine behan kaha!
102.Pathan on KBC
Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:
Q: What is you father name?
Pathan: Plz Options?
A. Dilawar
B. Changez
C. Feroz
D. Sultan
Pathan: Life line 50/50
A. Dilawar
C. Feroze
Pathan: Audience Vote.
75% Dilawar
25% Feroze
Pathan: I want to use My last life line "Phone a friend."
Kisko call karengy?
Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!
103.BoyFriend Murgha
apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha "Murgha No.5? Calling".
104.BoyFriend Murgha
Sardar eik party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, "Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!"
105.bahut mote ho gaye ho
bahut mote ho gaye ho.
Santa: Tum bhi toh kitni moti ho gayi ho,
Wife: Main toh maa banne wali hoon!
Santa: Main bhi toh baap banne wala hoon.
106.Ek Aadmi bada dukhi tha
Ek Aadmi bada dukhi tha!
Ek dost ne uss se poocha, "Kyu, tension mein ho."
Aadmi: Yaar ek dost ko plastic surgery ke liye 2 lakh rupeey diye thay, ab saale ko peehchan nahi pa raha hoon!
107.Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena
Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.
Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.
108.Woh ladki kitni sundar hai
Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Bade: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Chhote: Kya naam hai uska?
Bade: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"
109.Aaj pehli bar maine accha kaam kya
aaj pehli bar maine accha kaam kya, jiss par logon ne mujhe bohat mara!
Banta: Woh kya..
Santa: Ek makan mein aag lagi thi, aur andar kuch log thay, maine window tori aur andar ja kar sab logon ko bahar nikal diya.
Banta: Toh logon ne kyun mara
Santa: Yaar, kyun ke woh sab log fire fighter thay!
110.Shadi k doosre din beti apni maa se
Shadi k doosre din beti apni maa se: Meri unse ladai ho gayi!
Maa: Shadi mein jhagde toh hote rehte hai fikar mat karo.
Beti: Woh toh thik hai par ab "LAASH" ka kya karu?
111.married friends Rahul and Rohan talking
married friends Rahul and Rohan talking on the topic of the married woman,
Rahul: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?
Rohan: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai...
112.Santa ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya
Santa ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?
Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, "Pehle tum karlo, mera toh tumhey dekh kar ho gaya hai."
113.Saas ki pitai
Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.
114.Blood Test
Pathan BLOOD Ke bare mein book parh raha tha
Wife: Aaj yeh book kyu parh rahe ho ji?
Pathan: Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai ke kal mera BLOOD test hai iss liye test ki tayari kar raha hoon.
115.Car Puncture
Baap bete se: Car mein puncture kaise ho gaya?
Beta: Sadak par bottle padi thi.
Baap: Bottel dikhayi nahi di tujhe!
Beta: Ladke ki jeb mein thi.
116.Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon
Wife: Why are you waiting here?
Husband: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!
Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!
Husband: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta jo khada hai!
117.Dhamkiya mil rahi hai
Customer: Mujhe phone per dhamkiya mill rahi hai.
Police: Kaun hai woh jo aapko dhamkiya de raha hai?
Customer: Telephone wale bolte hai ke, "Bill nahi bharoge toh kaat denge."
118.shanti ke saath so jaana
Santa: Kaam wali shanti ko bulao.!
Wife: Kyun?
Santa: Doctor ne kaha hai, raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana.
119.Oye tera ek daant neela kyun ho gaya?
One: Oye tera ek daant neela kyun ho gaya?
Two: Yaar maine ink lagayi hai.
One: Woh kyun.?
Two: Kyun ke aaj kal "bluetooth" ka zamana hai yaar...
120.jhoot pakarne wali machine
Ek dost dusre dost se: "Kya, tumne jhoot pakarne wali machine dekhi hai?
Doosra dost: Deki nahi mere paas mein hai! Are maine to usse shadi ki hai."
